Why does one build a supercomputer with over 600 processors? Funnyhub looked at the world's top seven supercomputers, and I'll summarize the findings here:
Four of the seven do weapons testing.
Simulations of nuclear attacks. Which is bizarre, cuz if we get nuked, well, the entire world is pretty much screwed. So we need a supercomputer to calculate how screwed we are.
The other three of the seven do biological testing.
human genome research, weather forecasting, drug research, biological simulations, protein folding, biochemical processes involving proteins, and emulating half of a mouse brain.
That's right. It takes the greatest supercomputer in the world peaking at 360 Teraflops by using 65,536 processors to emulate HALF of a mouse's brain.
So let me ask you this. Did this mouse brain come from the result of an accidental explosion? It takes 65,536 computer processors DESIGNED by man to emulate a mouse brain. So how did a mouse brain just accidentally get created by a freak explosion? Clearly to emulate a mouse brain, we have to DESIGN super advanced processors. These processors don't get built by something exploding and then letting them sit for millions of years. The mouse brain didn't come from an explosion. It was designed by a greater being. A super duper incredibly smart being. We all know who that is.
Ok, enough of that rant. There's one more use of the third fastest supercomputer: "Blue Gene/W main priority is to perform production science computations including biological simulations, protein folding and other projects created by worldwide IBM scientists."
"and other projects created by worldwide IBM scientists." Yeah, we know they are just making super cool video games. Or a computer to calculate the probability of super cool ninjas taking over the world.
Please people! Do not put periods in your phone number. I know you are trying to be cool, but phone numbers have DASHES, not dots. It’s not an IP address. I know you want to look all cool, but it’s just wrong, wrong, and wrong. What if one day I decided to use slashes instead of periods for abbreviations? That would just be silly, wouldn’t it? For the love of phone numbers, please give them the respect they deserve and use dashes. In fact, I was talking with a phone the other day and it told me that they all prefer the dash. I heard it come straight from the mouth of a phone!
Mac OS X users, put your frequently-used folders in your dock where they are very handy. The only problem is that you get a dock full of identical folder icons. How to tell the difference?
Transformers to the rescue! Customize the icon for each folder with a transformer. The three volumes of icons are available via a search at Iconfactory for Transformers. (In the results, look under freeware).
Here’s what I’m using:
Applications (aliases to all my apps)
This is the guts of any computer. Ironhide is dependable and strong, just like applications
Apps startup (stuff I boot up in the morning)
This icon features “Blast Off.” I never heard of this transformer, but the name is certainly apt for startup applications.
Converted (for stuffing and photoshop actions)
Mirage was fitting for this folder, because he was known to convert from being an Autobot to a Decepticon.
Downloaded (I set the preferences in Firefox and Safari to both have them automatically save downloads to the “downloaded” folder. This helps to keep your desktop clean.
Soundwave works here, because I can just picture Soundwave downloading files. He’s the computer wizard.
Image Swipe (for when I steal images like cartoons)
Laserbeak was known for his stealth photos that he would shoot of the Autobots.
People (drop email attachments from friends into this folder. Within the “People” folder, I have one folder for each person.)
Bumblebee, the scout, is the transformer that relates to humans the most.
Postscript (whenever i print articles, i always do a postscript first so i have an archive of all the articles i ever print)
Ultra Magnus gets the postscript icon, because he was the Autobot leader after Optimus Prime. Like, post-leader.
Scripts (the Applescripts I use every week)
Devastator is powerful and destroys all in his path. My Applescripts are also very powerful and they just plow through my files, like it ain’t no thang.
It’s so much fun to have people come by my desk and enjoy a treat. Everyone should have a treat dish at their desk/cubicle/office. The costs are minimal (a couple bucks a week) and the gain is priceless.
Seven reasons to set up a treat dish at your desk:
1. It’s nice to give to others.
2. People will come by and talk more often.
3. It shows a bit of your personality based on the treats you buy.
4. You will always have treats on hand for yourself. :-)
5. It makes people happy.
6. Imagine if every desk had its own unique dish of treats. Everyone would have a grand selection of yummies to choose from.
7. You can experiment with the types of treats you buy. If one of them is a dud to you, it will be a tasty treasure to someone else. (e.g. Recently I got dark chocolate covered ginger. Sounds interesting, right? The ginger was overwhelming! Blah! But there were a couple people in the office who LOVES ginger. Success! So the ginger treats got eaten and next week it was onto another new treat!)
To help you set up your candy bowl, I will snail mail you a coupon for "Buy one Get one FREE on any variety of Dobe Chocolate 8.5 to 8.5 oz bags" Heck, let's make it two coupons. (There's a stack by my desk, which has its own story)
*BOOOOM!* Lightning strikes literally right outside my living room window. The edges of my computer monitor change colors. Landline phone is dead.
A couple days later the phone is still dead, so I called AT&T to set up a service call. That same day an AT&T serviceman came to my apartment building and looked at the box in the basement. But he said the problem is in my apartment, and that AT&T charges you a flat fee of $71 the moment they step into your apartment. Say what?! I’ve tried two different phones in two different jacks and none of them work. I’m sorry AT&T, but this is YOUR problem. I’m not shelling out $71 for some service I was considering canceling anyways, cuz I don’t even use my landline.
The serviceman is standing outside with me explaining the $71 fee to me. He wants to come into my place to fix my phone. To which I simply reply, “Cancel my service.” He was honestly shocked. I felt rather bold. “That’s right, I don’t want the service anymore, just cancel it.” That’s the real solution here.
AT&T, you can take your $71 service fees and stick it in your ear! I hope many other people cancel their service after this mass outage in Chicago.
You bump into someone you know, "Hey, what's up?" Or you might even be a bit alternative and say, "What's going down?" and do a little hip-hop fingering pointing down action with your elbows up in the air. But here's the new way to greet someone...
"What's diagonal?"
It gives the idea of what's up, but it's slightly askew. It's asking about the imperfect what's up.
In one corner we have the new worldwide sensation, the Internet!
In the other corner we have the tried and true champion, the Weatherrrrrr!
Last night the weather came out on top as it threw a lightning bolt that fried my cable modem. Weather still reigns supreme, and laughs at the internet.
(And thanks to comcast tech support who stayed on the phone with me for 50 minutes to figure out my problem, he was lots of fun to talk with. And the comcast girl this morning was also very helpful and pleasant. A+ to comcast tech support!)
A wallet full of two-dollar bills is like carrying around a wallet of joy. People get excited with unexpected encounters of two-dollar bills, and for some people it's just the regular course. The two-dollar adventure unfolds many personality traits.
First I walk into my bank and deposit a check like normal. After taking care of official adult business, the cashier asks the typical "is there anything else I can do for you today, Mr. Maldre?" For all those times I've been asked that question, I finally have a "yes" reply, and this time the request is a fun one!
"Actually, I would like to take all the money in my wallet," as I pause while I notice that the cashier is starting to smile now, "and convert it it all into two-dollar bills.
She doesn't even flinch! "Ok. You have 95 dollars here." She takes my money, and walks into the back room, like this a normal occurance.
She's disappeared into the back room for a few minutes while I imagine the conversation happening between bankers in the secret room. "We just don't carry that many two-dollar bills! What kind of request is this? Nobody asks for these except for grandmas wanting only a few for their grandkids!"
After a few minutes she finally comes out with a big fat wad of two-dollar bills. First she counts them to herself, and then she says, "let me double-check" as she goes to the bill counter and it rapidly counts through the bills. I can now tell that she is having fun with this, because she is taking extra care with my request by double-counting.
She comes up to me and starts the routine by placing each bill on the counter one-by-one while she continues to count through them. Two. Four. Six. Eight. Ten. Twelve.... Thirty-four.... Thirty-six... She does get a bit slower when she reaches the seventies. I guess the odd number paired with counting evens can be confusing.
I am giggling the entire time she is counting--and several times I wished I had my video camera, each time realizing, duh, this is a bank. You can't just videotape in here. But oh, this was too classic.
Ninety. Ninety-two. Ninety-four. and one. for Ninety-five. She hands me the big wad of two-dollar bills. I jam them into my naked wallet. As I try to fold the wallet in half, it's now a George Caztanza-style wallet. So fat and bulging, it's absolutely ridicululous trying to carry this in my back pocket. But I do so anyways for the kicks of it.
First place to spend the two-dollar bill? Sportmart. To get my baseball to have everyone I know sign. And wouldn't you know it? They have baseballs there for two bucks. Perfect!
The cashier rang up my ball, and I go into my wallet and pull out a crisp two-dollar bill. The cashier was astonished, "Are you sure you want to spend this?" I showed him the inside of my wallet. "Look inside, I just went to the bank and exchanged out ALL my money for two-dollar bills. I certainly have plenty." This cashier dude was so excited to have a two-dollar bill, he asked his boss (who was standing right there) if he could exhange it out with his own money (his boss did). Then the other three cashiers were all curious and came over to see what was happening. They all found it very amusing and we swapped two-dollar bill stories.
Having been very pleased with this reaction, I headed over to McDonalds with the plan of spending TWO, yes TWO, two-dollar bills. Surely I would get TWICE the excitement. I hand the cashier the two two-dollar bills. And she doesn't flinch. I'm thinking, "what! i just handed you TWO two-dollar bills. I'm SURE this has never happened to you before." Ah well.
Recently I handed the cashier at Arby's THREE two-dollar bills. And she asked the other cashier, "do we take these?" WHAT!? DO YOU TAKE TWO-DOLLAR BILLS!? HOW CAN YOU NOT?! That was just weird, i'm sorry. Weird.
I highly highly (yes, that's a double recommendation) anyone to exchange all your money in your wallet for two-dollar bills. It's like carrying a walletful of joy ready to unfold adventures where you'll get your two-cent's worth.
Gross sales in the last quarter:
+20%: Hot Wheels (worldwide)
+12%: Fisher-Price pre-school toys (worldwide)
+6%: Barbie (worldwide)
-1% Mattels girl division (worldwide)
-5%: Barbie (in just USA)
-10%: American Girl (worldwide)
No word yet on Hasbro with Transformers
Source: Barbie fails to bewitch kids in America.
Word on the street says that there is a buyer in Chicago that has been purchasing Hot Wheels like crazy. Rumor is that the buyer owns spudart.org. Sources to be confirmed.
There is a Spider-Man Slip 'N' Slide (with a hilarious review by Chris Kalani), but there should totally be an Incredible Hulk Slip 'N' Slide.
Challenge: Can you think of a better superhero to have a Slip 'n' Slide? I can't think of none better than the Incredible Hulk barreling destruction down a Slip 'n' Slide.
The friends' blogs list on the left column of the homepage has been updated. Here's a little explanation about each blog.
Angie O'Neal
Fellow designer's blog with neat links, ideas, rants and life. Updated every week or so. California, formerly Chicago
Brown Pleather Notebook
A very cool librarian that writes about baseball to intellectual property, from designer accessories to contemporary politics - and everything in between. Wisconsin
Chicagoscope
Leigh Hanlon, the king of all trivia, has a fun podcast about various things in Chicago. e.g. restaurants, stories, and interviews. Fun co-worker and friend. Chicago
Chris Kalani
One of the most hilarious dudes on the internet, Chris Kalani. For real. He's got a fantastic energy. Vancouver, Washington
Confessions of a Foodie
The amazing Tom Saaristo with his daily updated blog about food. Tom is a good buddy I used to work with. Updated every day strictly. Chicago
Deep Fun
Bernie DeKoven, funsmith. It's amazing how focused this guy is on having fun! California
Don the Idea Guy
Possessing creative powers beyond those of mere mortals, Don The Idea Guy comes to your rescue by providing powerful profit-producing promotional ideas that mean business. Columbus, OH
Eegons
A friend that owns his own Computerized Sewing and Embroidery Machine. How cool is that? Watch him explore the medium of the tshirt. Evanston, IL
Erik Maldre, Unlikelymoose
My twin brother, Erik Maldre, updates his blog every day about art, design, technology and alotta more inbetween. It's a Chicago-style hot dog blog. Elmhurst, Illinois
Googamook
Very funny friend, Kara Koenning. Updated about once a month. Colorado
Hamblog
Super cool graphic designer friend, Becky Haycox. Ventura, California
Hello, my name is Scott
A guy who wears a nametag every day certainly has some interesting and creative things to say. St. Louis, Missouri
The Hot Iron
A journal on business, technology and occasional diversions by Mike Maddaloni Chicago
Ironic Sans
One of the few blogs out there that consistently has interesting, original ideas. New York
Jimi Allen Photography
The blog for the Christian photographer, Jimi Allen. It hasn't been updated in awhile, so you can also check out his main website with portfolio at: JimiAllen.com. Aurora, Illinois
John Lee
Another fellow 43thingser, John Lee. Location?
Jotsheet
Tom Sherman. Smart-aleck. Former co-worker. Smart guy. Good friend. Chicago
Kim Quigley
Programmer friend. Blog about life. Updated almost every day. Pennsylvania
Noel Maguigad
C'mon Noel, you need to update your blog more often! I'd like to see more video posts from him. Good friend and former co-worker. Chicago
PaperGirl
Another great insightful blog. Written by poet and writer Mary Fons. Chicago
Rumble Radio
My cousin Peter Kreten does this show on WXAV. Great professional wrestling insight. Chicago
SparxMind
Funny dude posting about funny random stuff like how to live a better fun productive life. Wisconsin
Supah
The Electic artist, Amy Beth Payne, with her wonderful links. Michigan (formerly Chicago)
Spinninghead
Great poet friend, Rose Connally. Updated once a week or more. California
Urbs in Horto
A blog by a chicagoan that likes architecture. Chicago
Did your blog not appear on this list? Oops! My bad. Let me know in the comments. If you have a MySpace blog, that's cool, but since not all myspace blogs are visible to the public, I'm not linking to them here. Sorry!
Which are the busiest months with the most teams playing?:
7: January
7: February
11: March
12: April
15: May
16: June
10: July
9: August
7: September
4: October
4: November
4: December
June has the most Chicago teams playing. But July still has 10 teams. In July get out and see the Chicago Slaughter, Chicagoland Speedway, Chicago Fire, Chicago Machine, Chicago Sky, Kane County Cougars, Schaumburg Flyers, Windy City ThunderBolts, Joliet JackHammers, and Chicago Bandits. Again, here's a link to that calendar.
Flickr.com, the wildly popular photo website, created a group called 07_07_07 where 7,777 photographers are each submitting seven photos taken on 07/07/07. The moderator of the group mentioned, “We are going to attempt to get a publisher to produce a book of the best shots from 07/07/07 and the profits will be donated to UNICEF.”
Here are my submissions, which one is your favorite?
On July 8, 2007 Estonia continued their strong-hold dominance of the greatest international competition--the wife carrying competition! This is the tenth year in a row an Estonian has won the competition. I am so proud to have Estonian blood flowing through my Estonian veins!
I need to send the Uusorg brothers a gift.
Pictured above is Estonia's Madis Uusorg and his wife Inga Klauso winning the wife carrying World Championships in Finland, 2007.
Here is a snapshot of PURE ESTONIAN DOMINANCE!
* 2007 – Madis Uusorg (Estonia) and Inga Klauso (Estonia). time 61.7 seconds
* 2006 – Margo Uusorg (Estonia) and Sandra Kullas (Estonia) time 56.9 seconds (World record)
* 2005 – Margo Uusorg (Estonia) and Egle Soll (Estonia).
* 2004 – Madis Uusorg (Estonia) and Inga Klauso (Estonia) time 65.3 seconds.
* 2003 – Margo Uusorg (Estonia) and Egle Soll (Estonia) time 60.7 seconds.
* 2002 – Meelis Tammre (Estonia) and Anne Zillberberg (Estonia) time 63.8 seconds.
* 2001 – Margo Uusorg (Estonia) and Birgit Ullrich (Estonia) time 55.6 seconds.
* 2000 – Margo Uusorg (Estonia) and Birgit Ullrich (Estonia) time 55.5 seconds.
* 1999 – Imre Ambos (Estonia) and Annela Ojaste (Estonia) time 64.5 seconds.
* 1998 – Imre Ambos (Estonia) and Annela Ojaste (Estonia) time 69.2 seconds.
* 1997 – Jouni Jussila (Finland) and Tiina Jussila (Finland) time 65 seconds.
(There are more photos from these years in a previous blog post).
One of these years I'm going to Finland to participate in this competition. I would LOVE to win, but if I don't, I will be more than happy to shake the hand of my Estonian brother who does win.
Take one baseball. One pen. Every person you know signs the same ball, for your entire life. Everyone you know would leave their mark, it's like a compilation of everyone on one object. It would be interesting to see how full you can get one baseball with signatures.
Go to the bank, and exchange all the money in your wallet for two-dollar bills. Everyone loves getting a two-dollar bill. Why not make that your default bill of exchange?
Here is a dollar bill that was found in Chicago and posted to foundmagazine.com.
It's amazing how someone spills her heart onto a dollar bill. A public item. But then at some point you have to actually hand your heart's voice over to someone. Do you pretend like it's not your writing? What if you continually write on dollar bills and hand them over to the same cashier? (it's a bit creepy, but could make for an interesting short film).
Then there's the website postsecret.blogspot.com where you can write whatever you want onto a postcard and then anonymously snail mail it to the website owners.
It makes me sad that people feel the need to divulge their deep dark secrets on a postcard, when the most effective way to pray to God about it. If you just ask Him for help, He will help you. I'm all for creating items with mysterious back stories for people to find and think about. But when it comes for my own personal therapy, there is none better than prayer.
You can now measure the number of watts particular computers or appliances use. The P3 International Kill-a-Watt Electricity Usage Monitor just plugs right into your outlet and the unit's large LCD display counts consumption by the kilowatt-hour, the same as your local utility.
You can calculate your electrical expenses by the day, week, month, or year while also checking the quality of your power by monitoring voltage, line frequency, and power factor. Now you'll know if it's time for a new refrigerator or if that old air conditioner is saving you money.
Try to break this world record. With one hand, grab the most pennies you can hold. Your hand must remain palm-side down the entire time. And you have to hold the pennies for 3 seconds.
Here's a video of me grabbing the current world record, 245 pennies with one hand. I'm sure this record will be broken shortly as I can't even grip a basketball with one hand. C'mon, someone break this record!
(Recorded with a soundless $20 VistaQuest VQ1005) spudart
Spudart.org has lots of fun stuff by Matt Maldre, a 32-year-old Chicago Christian, artist, designer, illustrator, photographer, webmaster, entrepreneur, curator, goofball, and croquet player. Read more about Matt on the about page.
