If I was famous I would sign my name with crazy shapes. Squares. Triangles. I’d draw borders around the card. In fact, at stores I’m gonna start doing crazy things with my signature. I was doing a circle around my name. Now i’m gonna draw a border around the receipt. In fact, i will draw a line through the part where i’m supposed to sign, but then my signature will be on the rectangle side off to the right. I’m also going to start signing my receipts with “1993 CCHS badminton champion”
How cool would it be a baseball player? Maybe i should go onto wrigley field wearing a jersey and baseball pants. Walk aroudn like i’m a player and then i would sign autographs.
Here’s how the rest of this conversation went with my brother about baseball autographs:
Erik: You should sign your name, then cross it out, then sign it again. Or start signing someone else’s name
Matt: It would be cool if Lee Smith would sign stuff with Rick Sutcliffe’s signature; and you could say, “he told me i could do this.” Do you think they autograph socks? How about my plastic fork? My Drivetrain transformer. It would be nice to get it on an ironhide van. I want to make a beautiful wilderness landscape and have a baseball player sign it.
Erik: Man. I’ll tell you what I’d do! on the cecil fielder cover, I’d pay for two autographs. Have cecil sign the cover photo and then have him sign the card on the cover.
Matt: Have him sign the card smaller. Give him a super thick sharpie for the big one; and then a ballpoint for the smaller.
Erik: Right, specifically request that he signs it so it fits on the card
Matt: you know how they do personalizations? Whatever they call it, when they sign your name. I want them sign mine with “Superninja.” “Superninja best wishes, Cecil Fielder” Or maybe an anagram of their name:
— Cleric Defile
— Dice Cell Fire
— Iced Relic Elf
— Red Elf Icicle
Erik: have cecil sign “Cecil best wishes, Cecil Fielder.” You think cecil fielder could make an autograph that’s like 6 feet wide?
Matt: you think he’ll sign a 4-foot wide check for one million dollars? Do you think he would sign a square of toilet paper? Unused.