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Chinese scientists learn to control pigeons

Evil pigeon wearing beret hat

Great. This is just great. Now we have remote-controlled live pigeons with implanted micro electrodes in their brains–by the Chinese! These pigeons are able to be controlled by the whims of crazy Chinese scientists. No word on if these are evil-crazy Chinese scientists, or good-crazy Chinese scientists.

How about they make pigeons fly to another planet? I heard Mars could use a healthy dosage of pigeon crap. Then again, it was probably the Chinese who made the pigeons crap on me every year. (yes, the pigeons at my Western brown line stop have a tradition every year of pooping on me).

Although it would be great if the Chinese used these pigeons to do some sort of cheesey chorographed dance.

What else will the Chinese make these pigeons do?

(by the way a high-resolution print is for sale of the image above)

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AstrolabeBrianunlikelymooseTom SaaristoMatt Maldre Recent comment authors

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unlikelymoose
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wait a minute. wait just a minute. is that pigeon wearing a beret?!

Tom Saaristo
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I vote for sending pigeons to another planet. The only problem with that is that they are so evil that over time they would probably evolve and then we would have Evil Pigeon Planet to contend with! Oh the humanity!!

unlikelymoose
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I’ll tell you what i would do if i had a remote control pigeon. I would have the pigeon hover over cars that are parked terribly in parking lots so they can drop their load all over the car. And I would genetically engineer the pigeons so they can eat toxic waste so they can poop toxic waste onto the wrongly parked cars.

Brian
Guest

We already know how to control pigeons, for we have an item they covet but lack the resources to obtain. Breadcrumbs. /end mitch hedburg reference

Astrolabe
Guest

raspberry beret, the kind you find at a second hand store….