eBay auctions related to your last name

Have you ever done a search on eBay; and the results ignore some of the words in your query? Sometimes it can be annoying, other times it can be quite entertaining.

Today I searched eBay for maldre. My last name is very rare, so the results are usually related to just my immediate family. Right now there are a couple of auctions of my brother’s artwork, and some of the books with my dad’s photographs.

This is a screenshot of some of the results, not an ad:

Yes, they misspelled “Erik” as “Eric”. And yes, eBay loves to suggest that I typed “madre” instead of “maldre”

Then at the bottom of the results, eBay shows the “results matching fewer words”. I don’t know how there can be fewer words than simply “maldre”.

The result eBay decided to show me was an auction for a birthday card featuring a comic panel with a police officer pulling someone over. The officer is saying to the driver, “I stopped you, because you were weaving in traffic” The driver has a half-woven basket in the passenger seat.

I stopped you because you were weaving in traffic by Dan Piraro of Bizarro Comics
Inside of card. Text says "Another year in the basket. Happy Birthday!". In the far left corner of the card is a half-finished basket.

Here’s the point of this blog post: Somehow this is the result for fewer words than “maldre”.

eBay thinks that when you use fewer words than “maldre”, you get basket weaving. Sure, basket weaving is a creative activity. And yeah, I COULD see myself getting pulled over for weaving a basket in the car.

But how bizarre. That eBay would show this. eBay is a wonderfully strange land. Around since the 90s. It’s always been a bit on the quirky side. Thank you, eBay for retaining your quirks through all these years.


After writing this, I wanted to find the artist for this cartoon. Scrolling down in the auction, the text reads:

CARD’S INSIDE SENTIMENT READS: Another year in the basket. Happy Birthday! – According to Matt Maldre, Age is not how old you are but how many years of fun you’ve had. As a friend, make it your responsibility that the celebrant has fun on his birthday. Start with gifting this funny card. But also, make sure he doesn’t get pulled over for any traffic violation.

[bolding mine]

Ahhh, so there we have it. My name is mentioned in the auction. That’s why it’s related. Ok. That makes sense.

And now this marks the first time I’ve seen this quote of mine used in an eBay auction. Of all places. My quote has appeared all over Twitter. But now eBay? Sure, why not. That’s fun.

Ok, so who is the artist? It’s Dan Piraro, who draws Bizarro Comics.

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