I’ve been to the Taste of Chicago every year since 1985. One of my favorites in the past five years has been the huge barbeque turkey leg. A few tips on the devouring the turkey leg.
1) Be the caveman.
2) Devour it. Munch it. Rip it apart.
3) Wear messy clothes. You will get sauce on you.
4) For pete’s sake, do not use a fork and knife. This should almost go without saying
5) Get plenty of sauce on your face and hands. It will put you into the mindset of the caveman
6) Do not wipe your face off while eating. Your face will just get messy again in two seconds. Remember, you are playing the part of the caveman. Wear your sauce with great pride.
7) Growl at those who try to eat your turkey leg
8) Have your friends each get a turkey leg. There’s nuthin like communal cavemen/cavewomen sitting in a circle ripping apart animal limbs.
9) When finished, walk around a bit and let people see you with your war paint on. Find someone to give a big kiss, if possible
10) Now it’s time to return back to civilized society. Walk over to the water fountains and clean your face off. Plain ol’ napkins will not do. Just dunk your face into the water.