Is iceberg lettuce just crunchy water?

You know how they say that iceberg lettuce is basically just water, no nutrition?

Jeff Barrett on Twitter challenged people to change this notion.

Iceberg lettuce is just crunchy water. Change my mind. [Grinning face with smiling eyes]

Instead of challenging it, I pushed the crunchy water idea even further.

Ice cubes are crunchy water. 
Thus, can we make the correlation...
Iceberg lettuce = Ice cubes

Jeff replied with:
Transitive property. I like it. But probably don’t put iceberg lettuce in your drinks.

Oh, you know that’s an invite to put iceberg lettuce in my drinks. CHALLENGE ON.

Too late. 
I wanted some iced coffee. So I threw in some iceberg lettuce. 
I figured coffee grounds are good for growing lettuce. 
Thus, lettuce would be good for coffee.

Using transitive property again. I must be really transitive today.

I should make this conversation into a webcomic.

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