Tweeting about pooping

Everyone on twitter has the urge to tweet about what they eat. Or how their knee hurts. It’s the typical stupid twitter joke that comedians tell. I avoid tweeting about such uninteresting things on my main twitter accounts. That’s why I tweet them on my not-so-great twitter account devoted to my health, @mattshealth. Totally boring, right?

But I like to keep track of when pains or aches happen, so I have a record of it, just in case. When the doctor asks, “How long has your knee been hurting, I can find the exact day.” It’s very helpful. Everyone should set up a second twitter account dedicated to what you eat and when your back starts giving you problems.

And then you get to tweet about pooping.

That’s why one day I was shocked when @burritobeach started following me. Well, I wasn’t really all that surprised since the day before I tweeted, “The goat cheese and black bean burrito at Burrito Beach is quite good.” But still, it’s impressive that Burrito Beach is on top of things with social media.

Delighted they took the time to follow my account that is only read by my closest friends and rarely read by the twitterverse, I replied back to them with my joy:

Wow! @burritobeach is following me on twitter. Hey, I really enjoy your goat cheese and black bean burrito. #couponhint #couponhint

I was hoping they might, just might, give me a coupon for a burrito. But instead I got this:

.@mattshealth Happy to be following you #Guacstar

Yeah, I guess that means no burrito coupon for me. I hope they will read my classic tweets like this one: “I haven’t had an IRL conversation about pooping in a long time.” Besides, maybe it makes sense that @burritobeach is following my @mattshealth. Burritos and pooping goes hand-in-hand.

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