What if the Chicago Spire doesn’t get built?

Chicago Spire breaking ground: 4

Right now construction crews are drilling 34 holes in the ground going 120 feet deep, 10-feet in diameter. These will be the caissons for America’s tallest building, the Chicago Spire to be completed in 2010–or will it be completed? Many still doubt that the building has the financial backing. Even though each hole costs $250,000, that’s nothing compared to the $2 billion price tag.

We might end up with 34 really really deep holes in the ground. What should we do with them?

A) Fill them with chocolate.

In the summer they won’t melt, because of the cooler underground.

B) Convert ’em into nuke bunkers.

They’re underground, so they should be safe right?

C) Missile silos.

Instead of hiding in ’em to be protected from nukes, let’s stick our nukes in the holes and use them as cannons.

D) Big soda bottles.

Wait that last one was kinda sad. How about we make some REALLY MEGA-SIZED big soda bottles and store them in there. It’s like the next step up from the two-liter container.

E) Underground lair.

Cut out a large space underneath and make super cool underground lair. The holes could be elevator shafts leading down to the lair below.

F) Extreme slip-n-slide water park.

Have a constant flow of water going down the tubes, and it’ll be like jumping down a waterfall.

G) Wall climbing gyms.

It will be like you are a gerbil in a mass of underground habitrails.

H) Nap rooms.

Convert them into 14 private nap rooms. When you lay down at the very bottom of the tube, it’s 78.5 square feet. Plenty of room for a bed!

Got any other bright ideas? Leave ’em in the comments. Thanks!

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Tom Saaristo
14 years ago

World’s largest popsicle/Jell-O mold! World’s largest fondue pot. Fill with molten cheese or boiling oil or melted chocolate and dip your favorite foods into it. Fill it with beer and tap it like a keg! Fill it with Long Island Iced Teas and call the guys with the world’s longest straws and have a par-tay! Fill it with circus peanuts because heaven knows what else you’re supposed to do with those things! Peeps Cooler! Keep Peeps fresher, longer! Trampoline bounce/Bungee jump. Put a trampoline at the bottom and see who can bounce up the highest. Or tie giant rubber bands around the perimeter and have people take a bungee plunge!

14 years ago

Hmm.. The Matrix. I wonder if people would volunteer to be used as batteries in exchange for being able to live out pre-programmed fantasies? Heck, if you filled the holes with peoplebattery-capsules, you could still fill it with concrete at a later point and then power The Spire with them. People will probably forget about it, and start to wonder why the lights are starting to flicker and dim in 60-70 years. Wait.. this comment is really wrong. Ooops. Ignore.

14 years ago

I bet the city of Chicago could make some super kickin’ water fountains out of those caissons. They could put a monster-strong generator in the caissons and have the water shoot 2000 feet in the air. How cool would that be? a 2000 foot water fountain!

Lisa Schryver
Lisa Schryver
14 years ago

I like the giant fondue pot idea. Chicago really needs more vats of molten hot cheese.

14 years ago

You’d be rich if you could get an exclusive contract to run a tortilla chip and giant pretzel cart right next to them.. mmm.. cheese.

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