Matt Maldre
The Mauler
Chicago, IL USA

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Preferred color of ball
Orange or yellow. I prefer the contrast of colors against the green lawn. But if the lawn is yellow, then I would go with blue.
Name of your Mallet
Speciality shots
A combination of roll shots, stop shots and cut splits to leave my opponents pooping in their trowsers.
• First place since 7/21/2001.
• Winner of Summer Slam 2001
• Winner of the classic mosquito invasion.
Style of Play
Making the breaks, place other people's balls as stepping stones to my
throne of power.
Best shot made
See game report from 7/21, since I made that shot, nobody has come close to my reign.
If you were to win the Squirarchy trophy, where would it be displayed?
In the 14th floor window by my desk at the Tribune Tower, so all may bow down and to the mastery of all croquetedness.
Where would your ideal tournament be held?
on a nice flat lawn, short grass, but interesting obstacles. Erik can't handle obstacles (without lifting the ball).
Five other famous or non-famous people you'd love to play croquet with
• Harpo Marx (a croquet player)
• Michael Jordan (the basketball player)
• Domingo Ramos (the 3B for the 89 Cubs)
• Joseph Beuys (the artist)
• A Marsian
Your drink on the croquet course
Lipton Iced Tea, or some wine coolers to quench my thirst, but absolutely nothing can contain my thirst for croquet dominance.