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99.9999999% of German music sucks

99.9999999% of German music sucks, but of the 0.00000001% that is good, it’s like REALLY good. There is no middle ground with german music. It either really SUCKS or it really ROCKS.

Here is the basic categories of German music.

1. It’s like most of German pop is in the 80s, the bad 80s.

Ever wonder why David Hasselhof is so popular in Germany, but not the rest of the world? David Hasselhof is pure 80s–bad 80s. Germans love it. So much of their pop music sounds like really bad 80s music.

2. German singers is like me singing

You don’t want to hear me sing. Only a couple years ago did I even realize what singing on key was. Not that I can even do it. But I didn’t even know that existed until I played Karoke Revolution. I’m half German. So there you go.

3. Hmm

I feel like there should be a point three. But I can’t think of one.

Yes, it’s unfair to categorize all German music under suckage. But seriously, there are about 1,000,000 German albums with no good songs.

What about that 0.00000001% of German music that is good? I like to focus on the good, not the bad. This post was about the bad. Let’s look at the good. I like looking at good. Good is good. Here are some good German Christmas songs:

(FYI, these links are supposed to jump you over to iTunes. They aren’t working for me in Firefox, but they work in Safari. Internet Explorer? I have no idea.)

‚Ä¢¬†“Schlittenfahrt” by Die Flippers Die Flippers - Original German Christmas With "Die Flippers" - Schlittenfahrt

‚Ä¢¬†“Der Heiland ist geboren” by Berliner Mozartchor Berliner Mozartchor - International Christmas Songs - Der Heiland ist geboren

‚Ä¢¬†“Kling Gloeckchen Klingelingeling” by Eric & Eva Eric & Eva - Die Schoensten Deutschen Winter, Advents - Und Weihnachtslieder, Vol. 2 - Kling Gloeckchen Klingelingeling

‚Ä¢ “Lasst uns froh und munter sein” by Andrea J√ºrgens Andrea J√ºrgens - Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht - Lasst uns froh und munter sein

Not available on iTunes:

‚Ä¢¬†”Was bringt der Dezember” by Rolf Zuckowski

‚Ä¢¬†”Morgen kommt der Weihnachtsmann” by Rundfunk-Kinderchor Leipzig

However, these are all Christmas songs. Germans can do Christmas. But what about regular songs? I’ve tried searching all over the iTunes store for some non-christmas German songs, but can’t find any. I’ve tried searching for German Pop. German rap. German ich. German dance. German alternative. If anyone knows of any German music that is good. Please let me know.

Comments are very welcome, please leave a Reply

13 comments on "99.9999999% of German music sucks"

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what about yodeling? German yodeling is great! YO-DEE-LAY-HE-WHO! That certainly accounts for more than 0.00000001% of German music.


say it with me now: YO-DEE-LAY-HE-WHOOO!


Die Prinzen is one group I learned of in my high school German class… I can only vouch for a couple of their songs though.

Ha, yeah my HS German class was about the same… the teacher was a fun and super nice lady who was really excited about German, but it was always easy to persuade her that we should have “Freizeit” and watch silly videos. My friend Katie was usually in my classes; we still have a special place in our hearts for “Die Da” by Die fantastischen Vier. but yeah, it’s 1990s German rap, so that’s not going to solve your problem of finding good German music. haha. In college I dropped German and focused on Spanish but my two roommates both… Read more »

spud—did you forget about Bach…… check out the old 33 and 1/3 ‘s and you will find lots of german christmas that is above par

Eliana Briones

Here’s an interesting German Techno song: <object width=”425″ height=”344″><param name=”movie” value=”″></param><param name=”allowFullScreen” value=”true”></param><param name=”allowscriptaccess” value=”always”></param><embed src=”″ type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” allowscriptaccess=”always” allowfullscreen=”true” width=”425″ height=”344″></embed></object>

Eliana Briones

Maybe that will work better.

BJ Smith

Die rzte – German Pop-punk band. check out Friedenspanzer and m nner sind schweine. Oomph!! – German Industrial/rock band. Supernova and Augen Auf are both good ones. Fettes Brot – German rap/hip-hop. Nordisch by Nature is like a german rapper’s delight. Die Prinzen – German Alternative/pop. haven’t heard a lot but the song Deutschland is good. Groove Coverage is a good German Techno group although most of their songs are in English.


One word for you (well one word and a link): Heino

no need to thank me! 🙂