An eHarmony customer rep told me if I lied, I would get more matches

If I drink once a week I’ll get more matches on eHarmony. That’s what a customer rep told me on the phone when I wanted to cancel my subscription. Here’s the story.

I was on eHarmony for four months. An email arrives in my inbox saying that my subscription has auto-renewed. What?! I don’t remember auto-renewing at all. I looked to see if I got any warning emails about the auto-renewal. I did not. I called up eHarmony’s toll-free customer service number at 1-800-673-3548.

A very nice eHarmony rep answered and I explained to her that my account auto-renewed, and this was news to me and I didn’t want to auto-renew. Given their shocking auto-renewal procedure here, I figure this would be a common problem that people call about. And if you just ask them to not auto-renew, they will revoke the charge.


The rep said, “I’m looking at your profile right now and I see you have answered the question of how often do you drink set to a few times a year. The majority of the users on eHarmony have this preference set to once a week. If you change your drinking preference from a few times a year to once a week, you’ll get more matches.

Being rather surprised by this piece of advice, I told her, “Thank you for that insight and your advice. But I would want to stay honest and not put down that i drink once a week. To say that on my profile would be dishonest, and i thought eharmony was about getting honest matches. I would just like to cancel my account please since I do not wish to auto-renew.”

In her nice voice she told me that in the signup process that eHarmony boldly states that when I sign up, I’m set to auto-renewal, and that I would have to stay with that.

I do not remember the site telling me that when I signed up.

I told her that as I was honest before with telling her that i don’t want to change my drinking preference to get more matches, I will be honest here and say I do not recall the bold message that i auto-renew, because when i signed up for four months, I had in my mind clearly set that I was going to try this just for four months and I was not going to renew again.

I went on my soapbox a bit and continued, “if eHarmony was holding to the honesty that they clearly promote themselves as, they would send a notification email a day before or a week before your account renews. I’m looking at my email now, and I don’t see any such email. I believe you if you say the message is bold at the signup process. I honestly don’t recall it. If I saw it, I would have turned that off.

And more, “If eHarmony wants to be truly honest, they would notify people a day or a week before they just auto-renew someone for three months.”

She then gave me a discount and charged me for one month. She said that if I wish I could continue using the service for one more month.

To which I replied, “Thank you for the discount. As I’ve come here with the honest intention of not wanting to auto-renew or use the service anymore right now, I am sticking with that intention. It’s nice that you offer me to continue to use the service. But I want to be true to what I’m saying and not use the service anymore for the moment.”

She honored that and said she would send me a customer feedback. To which I told her that she was very nice given the parameters she had to work in. And that how she handled the situation was very professional and nice.

Now granted, I didn’t tell her this, but I don’t think eHarmony’s policy of telling people to lie on their profile to get more matches is professional. It’s clearly dishonest. It’s a clear contradiction to what their brand is. But at least the customer rep was nice in delivering the dishonsety to me.

Enjoyed this blog post?

Join the creatives who receive thoughtful Spudart blog posts via the email newsletter

Notify of

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

newest most voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Tom Saaristo
14 years ago

The whole point of filling out a profile is to find people who match with you. What is the point of lying!? How are you supposed to know to lie? Are you supposed to read other profiles thinking “OK, this is a lie”!? When you go to view someone’s profile are you supposed to look at it and think “Today is opposite day. Everything they say in their profile is the exact opposite. Oh look! Someone who drinks every day. That must mean they don’t drink at all!” ACK! Talk about making my brain hurt. Please pass the vodka.

Angie O'Neal
14 years ago

Oh, ew.

14 years ago

Good on you for sticking to your principles. I hope you find that special someone who will toast with you just a few times a year!

14 years ago

You should’ve asked to speak with her supervisor, and if they didn’t cancel your account for you, ask to speak with THEIR supervisor. The further up you go, the more they’ll actually listen to you and give you what you want. You shouldn’t have to pay for a month that you don’t want.

Angie O'Neal
14 years ago
14 years ago

eharmony has certainly failed on their ethics, but they have also miserably failed at basic business principles. Their entire business model is based on finding happy matches for people. They are telling you to put something incorrect on your profile which will result in incorrect matches for you. How are you supposed to find someone that makes you truly happy when your profile is not about you. It’s just plain stupid and goes against the core value of their business.

Would love your thoughts, please comment.x