Author: Matt Maldre

Today at lunch, there was an elderly fellow dressed in a clean sport jacket and khaki pants who was rummaging through the McDonalds trash cans outside. My first thoughts were that he was homeless searching for food. But then I…

I went to the 25th Chicago Marathon this weekend and held up a sign. The sign had two sides to it, so I could turn it around to change my message (quite brilliant if you ask me). One side said…

What’s the grossest cooking thing you do?Here’s two of mine: Put 3 overeasy eggs between two untoasted pieces of bread, and put bar-be-que sauce on them! When I run out of milk, you can put water on your Coco Puffs.…

Cook County elections officials hope a new voter education campaign featuring a pair of cartoon characters √£ “Chad” and “Dimples” √£ will help local polling places avert the kind of chaos that occurred in parts of Florida after the last…

A new page I just made. Check out the current books that I’m reading.https://www.spudart.org/books/current

I'll use masking tape to route all the cars to the suburbs, leaving the city car-free.

spudart (12:41 PM): cuz dogsup is like for hot dogs, not hamburgers

Why do we say “I flunked a test”? Where does flunk come from? I think saying, “I dunked a test” sounds much better. Then you can say “I slam dunked that test!” Or if you really did bad, you can…

JCPenney is selling this set. Conversation about this at plastic.com.

I got a few neat shots of the people waiting in line to get into Wrigley Field on August 29, 2002. It reminded me of some shots that I took from the Tribune Tower of the immigrant line waiting for…

AOL instant messenger limits its users to only 885 characters per post. So if you try sending an instant message with 886, it won’t let you. I wonder why 885? It doesn’t sound like a handy programming number. 1000 or…

The boats are leaving lake michigan. Here they just passed the Michigan Ave bridge heading west.

Stay tuned the next few days for an exciting giveaway right here on the spudart blog.

Pepsi’s newest promotion “Play Cool Million Cash Caps” seems like a big joke. You have to collect 11 caps each with a letter to spell out “COOL MILLION”. Yeah, what are the freakin chances of this? Right now, I’ve got…

While purchasing the new Sobe Mr. Green drink at Walgreens, I commented to Lisa about how I liked the dinosaur on the label. The Walgreens cashier corrected me and said, “it’s a lizard. NOT a dinosaur.” So I replied, “it…

“Dictionary-making is a mechanical, unnatural metalinguistic activity” For more mumbo-jumbo on dictionaries, check out my honors thesis from college in 1997.

A co-worker of mine, Dave Rothkopf, is in a band called “Down the Line” playing acoustic rock and soul. They are very good and tasty. In fact their newest album is called “Welcome to Flavortown”. It sure is yummy. Not…

I want to make a tshirt that says dictionary on it. The front of the shirt would resemble the cover of a dictionary, as would the back. Then the long sleeve would be the spine. If you got a bunch…

Here’s the quote that convinced me to get my sofa from IKEA: A good sofa is one you can’t resist. It beckons when you pass, inviting you to actually enjoy your own living room between dinner parties… Don’t buy a…

I bought a new tape measure / keychain a week ago. It has already come in handy! But while sitting at a bar last week, I really wanted a pair of scissors. Imagine the fun cutting up cardboard coasters while…

Walking down michigan ave in chicago today during lunch i came across a man dressed in a full-length pencil costume handing our Wrigley’s Spearmint gum. Pencil Man! What do pencils have to do with gum? Tom Saaristo of TOM TOOL…

Outside my apartment there are these old-fashioned doors from the ol’ ice-refrigerator days. I am currently researching what would be some good flowers to put in a cedar container in this space. (Figure: autumn, chicago, container, no direct sun). I’ll…

I am looking for some Subway coupons online. Know where I can get some?

i’m looking for an ibook. I don’t want to get the old “women’s purse/toilet cover ibook.” I want the new all white durable ones. I’m hoping to get one under $1000. Probably refurbished. * Do you think refurbished ibooks are…

Every day I check out the astronomy picture of the day. Today’s picture was a 3D (red/blue) picture of Mars. I was even able to look at it, cuz i got 3D glasses at my desk. I think every computer…

Today, I was innocently standing at the train station when a stealth pigeon pooped all over my shoulder and arm. Last tuesday, I got bird poop on my back at McDonalds. It seems that Tuesdays are now my bird poop…

Cars really need to respect buses more. Buses carry many many more people than a car. So please don’t honk at a bus that cuts you off. Because you are honking at about 50 people that are saving the environment…

I wonder what it is like to live in one of these dome things. This one looks really nice. This one looks like crap. You end up with lots of triangle windows and hexagon windows. And you’re kitchen is just…

Doing the doe-see-doewith my X-acto!

I often ignore the impulse while standing inside an elevator to push a secret combination of buttons to see if it will take me to an unknown lair in the building.

I noticed today that I never have seen a gas station inside a building. I wonder if there is some sort of law that states that you cannot place a gas station inside a building. I was walking through a…