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Fun synonyms for art museum guards

I’m brainstorming ways of describing art museum guards. 

  • Art museum security guard
  • Art protector
  • Gallery attendant
  • Law enforcement
  • Museum access control
  • Museum patrol
  • Museum protector
  • Observer of visitors
  • Parcel inspector
  • Policy enforcer
  • Preventer of suspicious actions
  • Preventer of touching
  • Proper propriety maintainer
  • Property guard
  • Protection services officer
  • Security
  • Security officer
  • Vandalism deterrent

My favorite might be the last one, Vandalism deterrent. It’s so true, but also feels so odd to describe that of a human. 

Now I just need to run these through the Syllable Stress Pattern test to match to see which match up to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. (hint: so far none of them match, because none of them are 8 syllables)

I got a bunch of these synonyms from a job description posted by the Art Institute of Chicago for “Protection Services Officer II

What does the “II” in “Protection Services Officer II” mean? Maybe it’s a level-2 position? As in, this is not a level-1, which would be an entry-level security person?

Also, I love how descriptive it is. This screenshot gives only a very small portion of the entire job. I tried pasting the entire 977-word job description here, but it’s just too long.

The actual description goes into every possible detail. But I suppose that’s what a security job entails at a protecting multi-million-dollar artworks from thousands of people every day.

Why would I want different ways of describing art museum guards?

  1. It’s kinda fun.
    The job of an art museum guard is a fascinating slice of our culture.
  2. Make it easier to find photos on my computer.
    I keep all my photos in Adobe Lightroom. In a recent blog post, Fun security guards at art museums, I have several photos of a security guard. I tagged the photo “security guard” in my Adobe Lightroom catalog, so I could easily find the photos again. A feature that Lightroom has is synonyms for keywords. That way, you aren’t limited to just a couple words, you can tag a photo with one keyword, but then a whole slew of keywords can also be associated with your photo.
Screenshot of synonyms for security guard (adobe lightroom keywords)
Screenshot of “Edit Keyword Tag” dialog in Adobe Lightroom

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