Every year Chicago has their fireworks a day early on July 3rd. It gets millions of people gathering to the lakeshore resulting in a very packed event. Here’s six tips I realized this year:
- Don’t get there early
Yes, this is counterintuitive. You want a good spot, so you stake out your land early. Let’s say you do that. Inevitably the place becomes packed. People start infringing on your "space" either by sitting too close or even walking over your blanket. Getting there early only stresses things out. If you have just a couple people just get there right before and find yourself a tiny little spot. How do you find that tiny little spot when it seems everything is covered?… - The two best places to sit are:
A) Lakeshore:
Finding a spot right on the lakeshore is tough, because it’s such a small area and so densely packed unless if you go to the hill by the Shedd Aquarium.B) Butler Field:
Butler Field is nice because they have nice loud speakers playing classic American symphonies. The trick to Butler field is to not stay on the fringes of the walkways. About 15 minutes before the fireworks, gingerly walk to the center of the field and you’ll find some little spots to plop down on. Make sure you ask the adjacent people if it’s okay to sit there. Don’t want to be rude. - Farting
If you have to fart, make sure to do it when there’s a lot of noisy fireworks. And if someone does hear you fart, you can just you got so excited, that you made your own fireworks! - Who to sit by
Depending on what mood you are in, you might not want a rowdy group near you. Then again maybe you do. But one thing, be careful about the old people. This year I sat next to this old guy thinking he will be nice and peaceful. Well he was, but he whistled to all the music. It was kinda cute at first, but I kept telling myself that it was cute. - Walk around
Before you sit down, take the freedom to walk around and be amazed by the sheer number of people. Of course this only works if it’s just you and someone else. Any more than three people, and you get too stressed out about getting separated. - Beforehand watch movies and documentaries
Even before you go to the fireworks, make sure you watch some good American war movies like Saving Private Ryan. It will make you appreciate the fireworks even more.
Whistlers drive me batty
I tried picturing him as a WWII veteran, so it wouldn’t bother me as much. How can one dislike a WWII veteran whistling to patrotic music? And then I would wonder if he ever got dizzy. Then he would stop and start singing. The singing was actually kinda entertaining, probably because the sining only lasted for like four seconds. Enough to be cute.
you forgot about the best thing to do while waiting for the fireworks! Bring a giant bag of grapes and plop your bottom next to a busy sidewalk. Toss a grape on the sidewalk and watch the fun! Will the grape get squashed? Will someone just miss stepping on the grape? Will a barefooted pedestrian step on the grape? Will someone kick the grape sending the grape down a path of pure excitement and joy? This is one of the most exciting activities in the world started by the Maldre family in the late 1980’s.
Okay moose, that will be point seven. 7) Bag of grapes Bring a giant bag of grapes and plop your bottom next to a busy sidewalk. Although it is in direct conflict with point two of sitting in the middle. But you are right, it is grand times when you got a bag of grapes and a busy sidewalk. I even walked by that same old spot we sat in as kids in 1986. It’s completely overgrown with trees and nobody sits there now. Oh, here’s a point eight too: 8) No tents A relatively new phenomenon is for people to bring super huge tents. Ones so big you’d think there was a second floor in them. And then they don’t even sit inside. How crazy is that? Please, we don’t need any more sight obstacles. That and the person’s butt who is soooo big… um, something about solar eclipse.
Wow, I can’t believe they even allow people to bring tents during the Taste. That’s nutty — and pretty darned inconsiderate, too.