The arch enemy of G.I.Joe, Cobra Commander, is bent on world domination. And now there is a pencil sharpener in the shape of his helmet.
X-ACTO, the manufacturer of sharp blades, produces a pencil sharpener that looks JUST like Cobra Commander. It’s eery how similar the two are. This surely cannot be a coincidence. If there is an evil wacky plot, you know Cobra is behind it!
Cobra Commander has been known to try lots of crazy ways to take over the world. Weather dominator, building an elaborate funhouse, hiding missiles in fast food restaurants, and shooting a nightclub into space. Yes, those are all real schemes Cobra has tried in the 80s cartoon. And now we have pencil sharpeners.
What better way to dominate the world than to infiltrate our schools? Get Cobra’s ways embedded in children’s heads while they are still young. OH COBRA, YOU ARE SO DEVIOUS!
And through a pencil sharpener. Even more ingenious. Sharp pencils? Or millions of sharp weapons! They say the pen is mightier than the sword. Cobra is outfitting our children with weapons!
Cobra’s plan is spreading
This isn’t just any pencil sharpener, it’s the BEST-SELLING pencil sharpener on Amazon. The number one pencil sharpener!
This product currently has 5,254 customer reviews! Only one review mentions the Cobra Commander look-a-like.
I swear I’m not “Matty Boom Boom”. But I am the one person who gave this review a helpful vote!
How about the customer questions? Surely someone out there has inquired about this coincidence. One person asked: “Can this double as a Cobra Commander helmet?”
X-ACTO actually replied!
“Since that is not the intended use, we can not guarantee it.”
What a delightfully open-ended answer. They aren’t saying, “NO DON’T USE IT THAT WAY.” They are just saying, “well, we don’t want to get in trouble if you do use it as his helmet. But if you want to, go ahead.”
Cobra denies this plot
Cobra Commander has openly addressed this pencil sharpener on Twitter. Despite this weapon spread across America in thousands of schools, He denies any connection to himself.
Get your own Cobra pencil sharpener
If you’d like to purchase this pencil sharpener and join the Cobra movement, it is available on Amazon.
(Disclaimer: The Amazon links in this blog post are affiliate links, so I can make a few extra coins to help pay for a fraction of the cost to host this website. #CommissionsEarned)