Time Magazine’s 2006 Best Inventions

I was about to leave Bloomington, Illinois, but I lost my keys. Luckily I had the $190 Loc8tor to find them.

I drive home 130 miles to Chicago and use just one gallon of gas in my fancy “Witty Wheels” prototype achieving a top speed of 80 miles per hour. On my way, I see a robot riding a bicycle all my himself!

It’s raining when I arrive home, but I have my $95 drip patrol umbrella that sheds water. I get inside my apartment and toss an apple into the $200 food sanitizer. My $250 doting dinosaur pet robot walks up to me and I pet his head. The talking head appears on my $19,995 talking mirror and says in a snooty English accent, “by jove, your cat misses you.” Sure enough the $3,950 hypoallergenic cat purrs in the corner. I go to get a cup of water, but the faucet isn’t working. So I head out to the garage where I have my $300,000 Rainmaker that is able to pull water out of thin air. I gulp that down and plop into my $1.5 milion dollar floating bed.

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Tom Saaristo
17 years ago

Very clever

tom sherman
17 years ago

why the hell were you in bloomington?!

unlikelymoose
17 years ago

you can get to Bloomington on one gallon of gasoline. My mind is boggled.

Anonymous
Anonymous
17 years ago

Although the gadgets you’ve mentioned sound terrific, the schedule doesn’t sound very plausible not even for Bill Gates. A little too expensive, don’t you think? ——— http://www.worstellwebwriters.com

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