My new finishing move for croquet is called “The Mallet Mullet”. Before hitting the final winning stroke to seal the game, I’ll put on the mullet wig. There’s nothing more embarrassing than getting beat by a guy with a mullet.
Mallet Mullet
Happening right now on Spudart: Press a leaf in an envelope with the date and story written on it until 2026-10-31
Oh My Lloyd! That is TOO scary! I can see now why it’s sold as a Halloween Costume! I hope somebody takes a picture of you shooting the winning shot in that mullet!! LOL!
All this frivilous discussion on how Matt will shock the croquet world with this wig as his finishing move leads nowhere. Such arrogance will backfire in his face and hopefully will catch fire to his wig. Matt will not have the opportunity to use this wig for his finishing move because he needs to win the game to do a finishing move. The Hammer will pour down in such fury that none will be left in its wake.
where’s a photo of you in the mullet wig? who’s this other guy?
he’s the model dude on the website. On the packaging, it shows the blonde, gray, black, and dark brown wigs. On each version they photoshopped his eyebrows to match the wig. I already have black eyebrows, so i won’t have to photoshop my eyebrows.
Mullet wig update: The mauler won the last two games of Summer Slam croquet with his mullet wig. Now the mauler owns THREE count ’em THREE championship belts. The universal, bloodmatch, and offensive coconut crush. NOTHIN IS GONNA STOP THIS MULLET NOW!
how interesting you weave your mullet story to sound like you were the grand winner of the day. how far from the truth! you merely won the last match of the day to get the universal belt. and you defeated the punisher the game before to get bloodmatch. simple as that. and the bloodmatch was a pathetic battle of two wounded dogs. Why is that? Because the Hammer struck down and crushed the competition in the first two matches of the day. It wasn’t even close in either match. The Hammer established a lead from the very beginning of each match and no one even attempted to come close. It was so bad after the first match that the Punisher and Mauler begged the Hammer to remove the professional wickets and replace them with the pansie-a55 americanized wide wickets. such weak cries. even with the fat-a55 americanized wickets, the Hammer prevailed in the second game.
Maybe if the Hammer paid respect to his lawn and mowed it to the regulation suggested height, it would have been a different story. But oh no, the Hammer has to go out and grow his grass into a dangerous flowing forest of grass. In fact, we couldn’t even see you win, because the grass was so tall. But once the Mauler adapted to the skyscrapers of grass in the downtown of Hammerland, he was able to clearly establish his dominance that he has over the game of croquet in this day and age.
Here is what the hammer needs for his forest of grass, the Weed Thrasher.
you baffle me, Mauler. All of a sudden you become a staunch croquet conservative. “regulation suggested height”. you are a pansie. i thought this was extreme croquet. i smell weakness. it is time for the hammer to crush its prey. The Hammer eagerly anticipates the next CCSG event.
a “pansie”, i say our next game should be on an CONCRETE PARKING LOT with no disqualifications. BRING IT AWN!