Author: Matt Maldre

I like at-replying. You ever get someone completely unrelated following you on Twitter or Facebook? I’ll at-reply a ridiculous question to these people. Lately, a car dealership started following me on Twitter. Yes. A car dealership. Why a car dealer…

word: pinbombed definition: When someone pins many many pins of the same topic/theme to Pinterest, so it takes over the screen when someone looks through their feed. example: I just pinbombed 30 different photos of potatoes! All my followers will…

Marco posted a great article on his Google Plus, Why Don’t Young Americans Buy Cars? Great stats: It’s true. Our youth is seeing that we all don’t need to own cars. less than half of potential drivers age 19 or…

I should memorize my credit card number, but I’m afraid of doing so in case I get kidnapped and they try to torture the number out of me. I think about it almost every time I enter in my credit…

word: gomo definition: When you are too tired to say the full “good morning.” example: gomo. i need my coffee tags: good morning, greeting, morning, short, bonjour, buenos dias, good morrow, greetings

Birds have cars. Flying cars. They are invisible flying cars. We just can’t see their cars. but that’s how birds can fly. Yup. Birds leave their invisible cars parked around everywhere. They just hop into one and fly off. They…

On your next birthday, you should walk around your house/apartment/condo the number of years old you are. On my birthday I will walk around my apartment building 37 times. The gates will make it a little challenging, but that’s part…

Donuts? Bring them on. Hot dogs. More please. I just took my cholesterol test, so now I feel like I can cheat a little and have some bad cholesterol food. I’m in that magic moment where I took the test,…

Changing your book format preference from hardcover/paperback to Kindle Amazon wish lists are great. See something you like? Just add it to your wish list. It’s not only a handy list for yourself, but your friends and family will appreciate…

word: np definition: Short for “nip it in the bud” example: person 1: This is totally getting out of hand, I can’t stop eating bags and bags of chocolates. person 2: np tags: no problem, abbreviation, acronym, problem, help, control

What do you think is the grossest word in the English language? I’d say “crotch.” Just listen to that word. Crotch. Yuck. I’ll never forget when we were playing floor hockey in fifth grade, and someone whipped their stick up…

word: overload definition: When something is so immensely cute, overload encompasses the object that is cute and the feeling of cute. The viewer becomes completely whelmed, thus one’s feelings goes on overload. And the object of cuteness is an overload…

Mary Fons has one of the best blogs in the world. Last week she wrote about enjoying sandwiches with Peace on Wheat. You should really read it. Here’s my comment on her blog post: The next best thing to Peace…

If a company with the word “solar” in their name, would they have issues with the recent x-class solar flares? Or would they get inquiries about solar flares? Like, maybe the are behind it or something. If your company is…

Does anyone know of any chicago-related playlists on youtube/vimeo of short films done by Chicagoans? or even films about chicago? I also asked this question on Chicago Magazine’s Google Plus.

word: weekstart definition: The start of the work week. Typically Monday. People say “have a happy weekend” on Fridays. On Mondays people greet each other with a happy weekstart. example: It’s Monday, happy weekstart! tags: monday, time, day, week, weekend,…

Do you find it hard to read on a Kindle or iPad, because you are easily distracted? Read my debate with author Marco Buscaglia on my syndication blog at www.mattmaldre.com.

Dear Google, You are fantastic, but can you seriously chill out on siphoning bandwidth from me? On an average day my server dishes out 6 GB of traffic (mostly from spudart.org and some from unlikelymoose.com). But today you have hit…

OMG the cnet person who wrote this article about the Lorax app‚Ä her hair looks like a Lorax mustache!

word: cohog definition: Two people who take up all the space on the couch. example: Hey, why can’t you make room for me on the couch!? You two are such cohogs! tags: hogs, rude, inconsiderate, couch, manners, polite, bad-mannered, barbarian,…

Walking half asleep to work Engines growling Elephants and camels travel the street Thankfully they obey stop lights or they would run me over

Definition: The type of poop that doesn’t flush down the toilet on the first try. Example: I don’t understand how people don’t watch to see if their poopies go down. Sometimes they are very buoyant poop. Tags: poop, crap, poo,…

I’m really looking forward to the new tech coworking space named 1871 in the Merchandise Mart. — 50,000 square feet — 100 reserved and 220 shared desks — 22 conference rooms — three auditorium-sized classrooms hosting a series of workshops…

The fruit at the top sits atop the pile like a throne in the sky.

If you search for thesaurus in the thesaurus, would that make the thesaurus explode in a self-referential infinite loop? Try this potentially dangerous search and the thesaurus will calmly return this result: Main Entry: thesaurus  [thi-sawr-uhs] Part of Speech: noun…

word: WHOAAAAMAZING definition: Combination of whoa and amazing. When something surprises you at first. And then you sit down and admire it’s amazing character. example: WHOAAAAMAZING! Look at all those fireflies! I have never seen such a sight. tags: whoa,…

If I was famous I would sign my name with crazy shapes. Squares. Triangles. I’d draw borders around the card. In fact, at stores I’m gonna start doing crazy things with my signature. I was doing a circle around my…

I found a childhood friend because of eBay. I told my brother about how I was bidding on a Huffer transformer toy. Erik wondered if we had that toy or Marty our friend down the block did. I’ve tried googling…

Ill. nuclear reactor loses power, venting steam not from within the nuclear reactor itself, “officials said.” Normally we put quotes around what people say. But what if we put quotes around the person’s name? It puts into question the person’s…

Can I get myself kicked off the Neenah Paper Facebook Page for my excitement over ASTROBRIGHTS® paper? See comments in screenshots below:

word: whodda whadda howdda? definition: Another way of saying “who?! what?! how?!” Usually spoken in shock. example: Your cat is not vegetarian? Whodda whadda howdda? tags: who, what, how, interjection, surprise, shock, unbelieveable, awe, confusion, excitement, hysteria, jolt, stupor, whammy…