Here’s an email I sent to Quark:
Subject: Quark’s events
I’ma lookin at yo events page at: http://www.quark.com/about/events/
How come you don’t have no events for Quark in Chicago? Shy Town wants Quark conferences. Adobe InDesign is totally crushing you. Hello? Do you realize that? Yes, maybe you might need a little lo-down on the get-down of this InDesign-down.
There is another layout program out there that designers are going to. It’s put out by this really cool company called Adobe. Maybe you’ve heard of them. They make that popular photoshop program. No no, not PaintShop Pro, but Photoshop.
Well, anyways this Adobe company in like April of 2000 released a program called Adobe InDesign. It’s just like Quark, only better. Much like how cupcakes are ok without frosting, but add that frosting on there it’s like soo-ooo go-ood! Who wants a cupcake without frosting? Only weird people who don’t like cupcakes without frosting! Actually it’s quite nice when there are sprinkles on there too. Oh wait… What are you saying to me? “InDesign… Quark… events.” Ohhh, right. The point of this email.
Here’s a tip. Just a friendly tip from someone who’s been groovin on the Quark vibe for the past nine years. You should totally, like, make some events that say how great Quark is. Actually now that i type that it sounds kinda silly. Do people want to attend an event just about QUARK? Maybe the meeting needs a catch… Oh i got it.
Picture this… *holds hands up in the air* The cover of your next direct mail campaign to graphic designers nationwide…
In really big type: CUPCAKES!
in really small type: and quark
subhead in red: Get your free cupcakes!
subhead in gray: and quark
Dude, i would so totally go to that event. And it would convince me to stay with Quark instead of InDesign.
a quark user,