What if Quark’s auto-growing text boxes grew too big?

I just love getting promo emails from Quark trying to convince me to move back to Quark’s design program. I used Quark XPress in the late 90s in college, and at my first two jobs, but Adobe InDesign came and took over, and we all never looked back.

To this day, Quark continues send me emails. About ten per month.

Today’s email was entertaining. It’s about auto-growing text boxes.

To give Quark a fair shake, auto-growing text boxes is a rather cool feature (compared to InDesign’s text boxes). In a regular text box if you fill it up with too much text, you can’t see all the text. But with this auto-growing text box, the box simply gets bigger. And bigger. And bigger.

What happens if you paste in a TON of text?

Well, I decided to ask Quark what would happen.

The text in this email reads:

If I feed these auto-growing text boxes enough, will they eventually become giant monsters that will take over entire towns?

Or maybe if I feed the entire contents of Wikipedia to these auto-growing text boxes, they would be come a giant walking encyclopedia of knowledge—able to fly to distant worlds.

I do know that I would not feed steroids or other performance enhancing drugs to these auto-growing text boxes, because they wouldn’t be allowed to play in Major League Baseball, and that would be sad that I limited their potential to become a baseball star.

Yes, completely silly. But it’s also pretty silly how Quark spells auto-growing text boxes as “auto growing text boxes”—no hyphen. C’mon Quark, you are a layout program. Get your hyphenation usage correct.