What do you do when you explode a bag of chips in public?

(Above photo: The chips after they were picked up off the ground)

Let’s say you are sitting in one of the world’s greatest public spaces on one of the area’s first warm days of the year. Everyone is sitting outside having a good time. Enjoying the good weather, enjoying the people walking by.

You just came back from the grocery store with some stuff to nibble on for lunch and snackage. You decide to sit down outside the Tribune Tower and join all the people enjoying the fine day on Michigan Avenue.

You take out a bag of crackers and procede to try to open it. The bag is being stubborn and won’t open. You take the bag from the other end and are determined to get to the delicious cheddar crackers inside. The bag won’t give easily. You decide to amp it up and REALLY pull on the sides of the bag to get it open.

The bag EXPLODES. Chips go flying all over the ground. These are BRIGHT ORANGE round chips. They are really loud sitting on the ground. Almost the entire contents of the bag are on the ground.

Now what do you do?

A) Pick up the chips and throw them away.

B) Leave the chips on the ground.

Here’s what I did.

I sat there in shock. It was quite amazed at the amount of chips on the ground. I was thinking about leaving them there. But it was such a mess. I don’t want to leave my beautiful court in a mess. Plus, I don’t want to feed the pigeons. Pigeons are already overfed by tourists. We don’t need anymore crapbirds leaving their crap all over.

So I started to pick up the chips. A couple innocent bystanders said to me nicely, “Oh just leave them for the pigeons.” To which I replied, “Oh, I don’t want to feed the pigeons.” Note, I withheld my rant from these observers.

I emptied the grapes from their little bag into my grocery bag and used that grape bag to hold the liberated chips. But now what do i do? Do I sit there and ignore my embarrassment and try to enjoy a little lunch? Yes, I swallowed my pride and ate some grapes. After telling this story to my co-workers they responded in horror that I would use my same fingers that picked up dirty chips to eat grapes. Oops. Let’s stack on more embarrassment. Ha!

All in all, I find it a funny story now. I managed to even snap a little photo of the reclaimed chips before they were tossed away. I really wish I took a photo of the chips on the ground. It was quite a sight.

What would you do if you exploded a bunch of chips in front of a bunch of people?

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Leigh Hanlon
14 years ago

I wouldn’t even try to pull on a stubborn bag. Several years ago I did this same maneuver on the inner bag of a some Lucky Charms and re-injured a rotator cuff. The rotator cuff originally was damaged when I was mountain climbing. Great cred. To go in to the doctor for a Lucky Charms-related injury was humiliating.

Anonymous
Anonymous
14 years ago

I would have considered eating the chips if no one saw me 🙂

Diamond
14 years ago

Im sorry Matt, but this is hilarious! I know I would have just walked away… sorry about your luck lol <3

Marco Buscaglia
Marco Buscaglia
14 years ago

I’m surprised you didn’t write “If you could be a number, which number would you be?” on each cracker and just leave them there, creating another Maldrexhibit.

Tom Saaristo
14 years ago

I would have done EXACTLY what you did! Look at them surprised. Decide that I didn’t want to litter, and yes, food is litter because … I didn’t want to feed the pigeons Tell passersby who tell me to leave them for the pigeons that I don’t feed the pigeons (though secretly wanting to go into my rant about those flying rats) Nibble on whatever I had left in my lunch kit, not realizing I may have touched the filthy ground in my good Samaritan attempt to keep the ground clean. Go back to work and tell my co-workers what happened, readying myself for some serious ridicule and embarrassment. Blog about it (eventually) because it is a food item.

Eliana Briones
14 years ago

I think it’s nice that you picked them up and that you stayed to eat your grapes even though you were embarassed…. Depending on the day…I would either: A) felt stupid and walked away. B) Picked them up C) take the rest of my food and dump it out and call it “Protest against Public Embarassment” A Performance Art piece.

unlikelymoose
14 years ago

I would run like I never ran before.

srhbth
srhbth
14 years ago

Haha. I know I already told you this but I did the exact same thing with a big bag of M&Ms once. At least my incident was in a grocery store entrance and not in a place where I had to stick around to finish eating 🙂 I was really embarrassed, but my friend and I also laughed like crazy about it, so it was all right. I think overall you did fine with your situation, but of course next time wash your hands before continuing to eat, hehe. There’s been pigeon poo on that ground! ewwww!

Sparx
14 years ago

1) Stare for a couple minutes 2) Scream 3) Run really fast! or 1) Yell really loud “WHO THREW THESE DAMN CHIPS AT ME?!”

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