Author: Matt Maldre

Overture’s Keyword Selection Tool is neat. You type in a word and it tells you how many times people have searched for it in the past month. For kicks I typed in “matt”. Matt gets a ranking of 705,907. (Erik…

As the Trump International Hotel and Tower in Chicago slowly rises from the ground, everyone can immediately see a huge construction flaw. The main materials used for the construction of the tower are giant toilet paper cardboard tubes. Donald Trump…

I have played croquet with 37 different people so far. I want to play with 100 different people. It’s a new item on my to do list. How many people have you played croquet with?

I’ve posted before about putting trains, pizza, and ice skating into your instant messages and cell phone text messages via ASCII art. Now here’s some animals ASCII art found across the internet that fits on one line of text that…

Places I’d like to sit –Under the ledge on the Mushroom Islands –In the cockpit of an airplane. Doesn’t have to be actually flying. –Directly under the St. Louis Arch –In a race car. Doesn’t have to be actually moving.…

It’s summertime and temperatures in Chicago are getting around 100 degrees. It would be so much fun to have a snowball to throw at someone right now. So next winter, I want to pack like six snowballs and keep them…

The rain soaked windows of the “That’s Our Bag” store in downtown Chicago left a great opportunity waiting for someone to draw something on the windows. I was talking on my cell phone with my girlfriend and drew some faces…

Here’s my away message for my email today at work: I’m out of the office Friday July 13. Did you know that it’s National Embrace Your Geekness Day. It’s true! I’m not just a geek telling you this! Well, I…

Here’s something interesting to observe. Look at the lights wherever you go. What type of lights are they? –Bright or dim –Are they on the ceiling or on the ground –Lots of lights or Few lights –Diffused or Direct –Square…

Check out the top three Chicago blogs that are members of performancing.com: 1. jotsheet (friend of mine from work) 2. Spudart.org (yours truly) 3. Chicago Bean (my chicago event calendar) Performancing.com is a site that helps bloggers improve. They provide…

(A continuing analysis of advertisements that appear in “The Trucker” newspaper.) The text in the ripped part of the ad reads “WANTED: Honest, Dependable, Safe & Hard Working*” Raawr! Yeah! Right on! This ad definitely appeals to the machismo of…

In overtime of the final championship match, France’s best soccer player Zinedine Zidane headbutts an Italian player to get kicked out. Here’s the video: But then Zidane didn’t stop there! The next day he headbutts the president of France Jacques…

Ok, so maybe all postal mail cannot be free. But the post office should allow people to send postcards for free for one month every year. This month should be far away from Christmas, so let’s pick July. What a…

This little lego figure is a dude listening to a boombox. However, I cannot take credit for this little guy, TMS copywriter Lisa Schryver is the one who created him. But she did use my lego pieces. 🙂 It was…

What would happen if you could mail letters through the postal mail for free? That would be fun. I’d miss stamps though. Stamps are fun. But it would also be fun to just dump a piece of paper with someone’s…

All this planter needs is a rope hanging out from the top edge.

Every late night host has his own type of humor that typifies the majority of their skits. Jay Leno: People are stupid ‚Ä¢ Jaywalking: asking simple questions to dummies on street ‚Ä¢ Headlines: stupid mistakes in newspapers ‚Ä¢ stupid 911…

There should be a website where it will do the following: I want to get a phone with 2 or 3 megapixels, but it needs to come as part of a package deal when I sign up for a new…

The reason why Apple names all their operating systems after jungle cats (leopard, panther, jaguar, tiger) is cuz jungle cats like to eat apples. It’s just a fact that most people don’t know.

What to do with a pile of dirt left behind by the city of Chicago? Stick a flag in it. The city of Chicago installed new curbs a couple months ago at Giddings and Oakley in Lincoln Square, but they…

Just 10 minutes ago, Brett Favre was in Chicago’s Nordstrom Mall on Michigan Avenue being interviewed by Corey McFerren of Fox News. Behind Favre and McFerren was a large banner featuring Brett Favre promoting Sensodyne. Apparently this is tied into…

(A continuing analysis of advertisements that appear in “The Trucker” newspaper.) Don’t pull any punches with me, BOY. I don’t want no lies. I don’t want no gimmicks. I don’t want me none exaggerations. As if that wasn’t enough for…

Try to listen to “2 Legit 2 Quit” by MC Hammer without doing the hand motions. Just try. You won’t be able to help yourself. (Spotify, Amazon, Youtube). This contest is only open to those born before 1982. The music video…

Oh yeah! *busts through wall* Kool-Aid Man is on the scene. Everyone likes a person–or thing–that breaks through a wall. — Kool-Aid Man — Incredible Hulk — Juggernaut (of X-Men) Can you think of anyone else that breaks through walls?

(A continuing analysis of advertisements that appear in “The Trucker” newspaper.) I love how this trucker ad depicts this child speaking in such advanced english. Then again, little Ella gets her person voice mixed up as she starts to talk…

On a quiet, loaded rush hour El (Chicago transit train), there were two older people that were networking, talking business, and exchanged business cards. The usual daily rush hour train in Chicago is a silent box filled with sleepy workers…

I finally signed up for skype. It’s a free service that lets you voice talk with people online–just like a real phone call–but on your computer. If you want to know my username, just ask me (that is, if i…

A beetle from Asia is killing ash trees in Illinois, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Indiana. Here’s an informational poster about this deadly bug. Sources: Wanted: Emerald Ash Borer (cbc.ca) From the side (ucdavis.edu) About to fly (inspection.gc.ca) Underside (auburn.edu) TARGET: ASH…

(A continuing analysis of advertisements that appear in “The Trucker” newspaper.) Daddy, please come home. Daddy, please come home. Daddy, please come home. Talk about playing the softie angle in truckers. It’s a very hard life for truckers to be…

This morning on a Chicago transit bus were two little girls–maybe 2nd grade. One of them had a notebook that had a graduation tassle attached. Both of these girls were too young to have graduated from anything to have a…